THE WEATHER, THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME AND OTHER EXCUSES

Good morning! January 7th and day 7 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. The dog and I had a good night of sleep. I’m still feeling the yuckiness of all my recent lack of though. The effects of sleep deprivation has long and lasting footprints on our physical body and mind. I should know having done shift work for over 30 years. I existed on a daily average of 5 hours of sleep. I prided myself on how well I functioned on so little.

I was stupid for wearing that badge of honour. I wonder how much of sleep deprivation played into my ‘blues’/SAD. I blamed many of my failings on the weather, others and other stuff. Even though I knew better, I rarely thought it was the sleep thing though sleep was our/a nurse’s main vocabulary. Did you sleep? and Are you on days off?  My sleep deprived brain was not firing on all cylinders. It’s been limping along as best as it could.

I’ve read somewhere that it takes about 6- 7 years to recovered from long-termed (20 years) shift work. I’ve worked over 30 years doing 12 hour days and nights.  I’m in mine 7th year of retirement. I’m a recovering, almost recovered sleep deprivedaholic. I still have little bouts of sleeplessness. I still blame the weather, the woman next door and other excuses. I have to have a place to lay some of the blame. It’s too much and heavy on just myself. Even so, I try to take responsibility by taking action and moving towards living a meaningful and productive life. Some days are better than others. Some things are easier to do than others. I try taking one step at a time to be stronger and more resilient.

The biggest shift I’ve experienced  was 3 or 4 years ago when I joined an aerobics class at the YWCA. After a month of an hourly class 3 times a week, I felt euphoric. My senses became alive. My head felt so clear and I could see so well. I remembered going wow! driving on the freeway. The view in front of me was panoramic and sharp. Everyone thought I looked so good. Those effects have diminshed as I got used to my new state of well being. The memory of it have kept me on track and to get back on when I have derailed.

Travelling through the last month or so of 2019 has brought another shift. This time in my thought processes and emotions. I’m sifting through the debris to find the nuggets of learning and wisdom. It takes patience, hard work and time. It works best when I put the words, thoughts, events, feelings and what have you onto the page. Those are my trusted tools. On that note I’m ending this post. Another day and a few mumblings. Sheba and I have travelled to the park and back. We made our 2 rounds, romped and talked with our fellow walkers. We hope for another peaceful evening and a night of sweet dreams.

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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6 Responses to THE WEATHER, THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME AND OTHER EXCUSES

  1. Love the photo your dog, it got my attention and tuned right in. Me resist a dog?!?!? Hardly possible! Yes the weather can have a strong impact on our lives, as you cuddle close and keep warm at night with your dog, you may not want to get up and not getting up can affect that productivity and well it causes a rippling effect on so much more! I get up in the morning- thankfully my dogs get up with me and don’t let me stay in bed- they get up and make me get up to let them out in the backyard! Hey when ya gotta go……then I must well GO!, LOL! in the summer things are different and the warmth of the bed and the body heat generated makes me want to get up and turn on the AC.

    • hafong says:

      I’m sure Sheba is the most photographed dog in the world.:-) At 13 1/2 she’s experiencing sundowning. That’s what I think anyways. She gets restless and paces at night, keeping me awake. I’ve been taking her to the park for exercise and play with other dogs. Seemed to help. Also I give her a melatonin in early evening when she shows a bit of restlessness. Whatever works is worth it for sleep!

      Lily

  2. minette2012 says:

    Ahhh sleep, the magic elixir of life. As I get older it becomes more and more precious and harder to come by. I have also found writing to be a source of comfort, relief and healing. Great post. I didn’t know that about shift work taking so long to recover from. Happy sleep!

  3. alethamcmanama says:

    What a cool story of your life shift. Funny as I have gotten older, I crave sleep and will nap during the day when I get the chance. LOL

  4. Karen Sammer says:

    My sister has been a nurse practitioner for about thirty years working 24 hour shifts a few times per week. Who ever thought that someone responsible for human life working 24 hours was a good idea? That boggles my feeble mind, but such is the world we live in. Sweet dreams dear Lily, to you and Sheba.

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