Sheba comes running into the room. She has sensed our furry neighbour out on the deck. She rears up on her hind legs, barking out her greeting. Mr. Fur Ball yips back in return. He enjoys this! Sheba is reprimanded and runs away, crying to her favourite man.
I am still mourning Dr. Sophia Yin’s death. Can one mourn someone they have never met? Then I learn of another tragedy, the death of Ron Francis, an RCMP officer. Such serendipitous moments for me. Clearly there is a message for me. I hear Gracie Heavy Hand‘s voice saying: Stay calm. Be brave. Watch for the sign.
I hear the message. I am brave. I see the sign. I have moved on – away from the scene of the traumas and stress. I am not wallowing and glorifying how well I am doing despite all that – any more. I am not living as if everything is an emergency and there is no time. I am out of the fire. My body forgets at times. It comes on alert with a trigger, the adrenalin pumping, heart pounding, getting ready for the fight or flight. It’s okay.
It has had to operate on alert mode for so many years. It will take time to unlearn the response. I have time. I don’t have to pull up my socks and get on with it. I can weep, I can get mad. I can take a nap. I can fall apart, knowing I can put myself together again. I can just be. There no longer is a raging fire, just the dying embers. They will go out.
In the meantime…
I can listen to the silence of this morning. The dogs are no longer barking. The sun is warm on my back and Sheba as she lays next to me. I can honour and appreciate Dr. Sophia Yin’s work that she’s left behind.
I can continue to work on my goal and tap, tap out my words in 15 minute segments, in a one-inch picture frame. I can write that book – a line, a page, a story at a time. I can do different. I can learn new tricks. There’s plenty of time.
How are you doing? Do you have any beef, passion or insight you want to share? Writing it out is a great way to dissipate angst and open your chakras. And you just never know what can follow.
I’ve done my rant. Time for my 15 minute slow jog with Sheba. The sun beckons.