UNEASY THURSDAY

It’s not my write day today but I feel like talking. When that comes, it’s good to listen. It’s another overcast and cloudy day. It had rained some overnight. I think it is going to be this kind of summer – cool and unpredictable. The forecast for Saturday is sunny and 34℃. Can you believe it? That’s 2 days away. By then things could change and anything is possible. Maybe not snow though.

I feel uneasy. It is a frequent visitor. Coming home from exercise yesterday, I had a sense that we’re living in a Stephen King novel. Something is terribly wrong with our world and we’re just watching and waiting and not doing. I’m feeling this discomfort of avoidance and helplessness. It’s a good reason to come to my keyboard and tap. It stops my mind from pacing uselessly back and forth. I’m focused on the words and sentences. With luck I can tap out some comfort and a course of action.

Right now there are things I need to and can do. They are the small acts of daily living. No matter what, we need to get up, dress up and show up for what is here. The yogurt needs to be made. The milk is close to its expiration date. It is an easy process. Steam the milk for 1 minute in the Instant Pot. Then cool for 20 minutes till it’s 120℉ or less. Put in a scoop of plain yogurt and ¼ cup of powder milk. Stir well. Pour into yogurt jars and place in yogurt maker. Cover and plug in. Leave for 4 hours till yogurt forms to desired consistency. Easy peasy. Not so if I don’t have a plan of action for uneasy days.

I can override my natural tendency for these feelings of unease. These are good times to pay attention to areas of need – like cupboards and closets. Sorting and cleaning my outer space gives me a sense of sorting and cleaning my inner space/thoughts and feelings. It can give me a sense of control and empowerment. Sometimes those areas are not the right thing to tackle. Then I’m ok to use escapism, like diving into a book that takes me completely away. The Chamber by John Grisham is such a book. It’s about death row, the death penalty, the KKK and racism – not exactly light hearted and a feel good kind of book. It was very impactful, making me rethink almost everything about life, how we are/were and how to go forward.

Now the morning is almost gone. I’ve got the yogurt yogurting. I’ve cleaned up the equipment I used in the process. Now to harvest some lettuce and radishes for a salad for lunch. The phone rang just now. A recording said it was Amazon and that they will be billing $35.00 to my account. Who are these people who are so technically capable of cheating us? Why don’t they use their abilities to help people instead? Such is the world we live in.

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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