WHAT SURPRISED ME IN 2021

It’s day 3 of the new year and the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’m feeling tired and not the least bit eager, wanting to show up here. I’m doing it anyways. In the same manner, I did #2 assignment for the 30-Day Positivity Challenge. It helps to have a plan and goals for the day/month. It’s my to-do list for difficult to navigate times. I’m up and down with the fluctuating temperatures. I’m temperamental and over sensitive to noise and clutter. Everything sounds loud and like fingernails on chalk board. Everything looks messy.

Perhaps it is a good day to do some clearing – of things and thoughts. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. I do not have to do super feats. I can do/write in what Anne Lamott calls ‘bird by bird‘ or in one minute picture frames. I like to use the log cabin quilt square as a reference. I built it log by log. It’s not intimidating at all when you look at it that way. Now I just have to put the 100 squares I built together, block by block to make a quilt. I am a person who cannot see/do the whole picture at once. If I try, I get overwhelmed and discouraged to make even a start.

I now have picked up and rid a few things off the dining room table. I have found homes for them. Next – to work on a question or two in Unravel My Year workbook. They are not easy. The answers don’t jump out of me. What surprised me in 2021? Hmmm, let me see. Nothing obvious at first, but I suppose the fact that I could plant tomatoes, scarlet runner beans and cucumbers in the greenhouse in early March was a feat. Some died but most lived to give us an abundance of food. I had a large harvest of pumpkins in the fall. I was surprised that I love them as a vegetable to stir fry, stew, curry and soup with, besides making them in pies, muffins and cookies. Trying new things bring the best surprises. I am surprised, too, that I am enjoying these cold months relaxing, not thinking of gardening at all.

Some surprises are subtle and startling at the same time. They are like blows because they come out of nowhere and yet they’ve been there all the time. It’s just me, not seeing how I don’t value myself in so many small and big ways. That is till one day I woke up and saw how I was abusing myself and therefore, allowing others to do the same. I never set any boundaries or made any demands of others how I want to be treated. I forfeited myself to please others. My waking up was the biggest surprise of 2021. I’m still reeling and sitting with it, digesting and feeling into how I will change with the knowledge.

It has started to blow and snow outside – a bit of winter wonderland when you’re not out in it. I am glad we had our ski this morning. That is another surprise. I am not at all athletic but I love the activity so much. Who would have thought? So even if you don’t think you like something and don’t feel like trying it out, do it anyways. You might get a very nice surprise.

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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5 Responses to WHAT SURPRISED ME IN 2021

  1. Martha DeMeo says:

    Sometimes we just have to plug along Lily! I feel the same way at times but my inner me says I can do it. I love your log cabin squares! That’s one project I want to get Lia doing. She enjoys sewing and this would be a great project to teach straight stiching and she could make a tiny quilt for starters!

  2. Karen Sammer says:

    It sounds like you have a lot of revelations in 2021. I hope 2022 brings you at least as many surprises.

  3. Tamara says:

    Good for you to start set boundaries. You are a wonderful lady, and you deserve to be treated nicely and with respect!
    These quilts look like they take a lot of time, patience and skill to make, so I admire you for that!

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