January 2, second day of the new year, second day of the Ultimate Blog Challenge and first day of the 30-Day Positivity Challenge. My word for this year is FOCUS but already I’m feeling iffy, wishy-washy and a bit cranky this morning. I could blame it on the weather. I woke up to -20℃ instead of -35℃. It should be a cause for celebration instead of a case of grouchiness and moodiness. But it is what it is. I will just have to focus and move on with the day and this post.
It’s a good thing I have this writing space and challenges to work on. I’ve had this space since 2012 when blogging was new and a rage. I started out on Blogger in 2005. It was a struggle getting things to work but I managed to get some photos and a few words up. It did not have too much of a public presence. I then moved on to WordPress. I found it much easier to work with. It took a year or two before anyone noticed me. It didn’t really matter because I had no business to promote. Writing is pleasure and therapy for me. I love the rhythm of tapping on the keyboard and seeing the letters march across the screen.
It is not so at this moment. There is a stickiness and lack of rhythm. There is no flow. I have to work getting the words out. I’ve done the Positivity activity of the day. I looked at myself in the mirror and said, “I love you” a few times already. I don’t feel it. Rather, I feel irked. I don’t feel love but I said it anyways. I hope to reap the benefits eventually. Nothing happens that fast, right? I have to make being positive a habit first.
I’m considering the next 2 questions in my Unravel My Year workbook. 1) When did fear hold you back in 2021? 2) Where did you practice courage in 2021? I can’t say that anything held me back last year. When there was no fear, courage wasn’t called upon. Now if we were talking about 2020, there was alot of anxiety and challenges. Covid-19 came into our lives in early 2020. My 90 year old mother came down with shingles February 2020 right in the midst of lockdowns. I was busy taking her to appointments and worried about her pain, eyes and medications, I had no time for fear. That period lasted almost 4 months. Then I lost my fur baby Sheba. We were still in lockdown and I could not be with her at her time of passing. That was hard.
Sitting where I am now, life is pretty good. I may be feeling a little tired and moody, but it is still all good. I hear so many people say that Covid has made everything so hard. It is true but life have always been hard. If it is not one thing, it is another.