Day 28 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge. The end is near and what is it that I’ve learned from this challenge?

  • that I still love words and pictures and the things they tell me
  • that I still tell some stories over and over and that I need to tell myself new ones
  • that I am fulfilling my goal of having this writing space – tracing and understanding the archeology of my time on earth.

I don’t know why that it is that I hold on to the negative narratives more than the positives. Why it is that I admire others so much and think so little of myself? Does not having a physical father present in my early years make a difference? And how about being a minority from age 6 to adulthood? I have had a double sense of being invisible and very visible at the same time. I have had the sense of being very small and standing out like a huge sore thumb. I’m using the past tense – have had – because I don’t feel like that anymore. But I am sure that child/young adult still resides in me.

It’s really too late to change my history, my paths through time. But it is not too late to accept and take comfort in that I did the best I could. I can accept that maybe it is the rites of passage. I don’t have to cast blame in any direction, inward or outward. If I could go back in time, I would tell my 16 year old self that being imperfect is part of the human journey. We can’t grow from a perfect end place. Don’t worry too much about making a wrong decision. Life is not black and white. It’s not about right and wrong. Some things/decisions are better than others. Wisdom is learning to make detours and corrections as we go along. Most of all, I would tell my 16 year old self to love herself unconditionally, to think more of herself and less of others. Let go of things that doesn’t serve her. Time and energy are finite.

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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4 Responses to ADVICE TO MY 16 YEAR OLD SELF

  1. juliejs says:

    I have always loved this quote from CS Lewis. “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” There are times I have to work really hard to feel better about myself and what I am working on. I believe in you, Lily. I enjoy reading what you have to say. Please keep it up!

  2. Larada says:

    What wise advice you offer your sixteen-year-old! Thanks for sharing your adult wisdom!

  3. Lily, yes, you have by definition done the best you could at any given time. The key now is to make the most of the time you can control, which is each Now moment. I love your relating to The Perfect as not-the-ultimate! Thanks for another thoughtful piece.

  4. Tamara says:

    “Wisdom is learning to make detours and corrections as we go along.”
    “Time and energy are finite.”

    Nailed it, Lily. Nice post 🙂

    I think you need to pat yourself on the back for so many things you do and don’t even acknowledge.

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