SOME THINGS ARE JUST FOR ME – a meditation for one

It is the 11th day of August and the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I’ve missed a day again. Time is elusive, hard to grasp. It’s like holding onto water. It slips slides away faster, the harder you try to hold onto it. Before it does today, I’m sitting down, my fingers are on the keyboard, to have this conversation. I’ve come back from grocery shopping with my parents. I’ve unloaded and carried theirs into their house. Mine are sitting on the kitchen floor. No perishables. They will be alright.

Sometimes you just have to drop everything just to have some time/things for yourself. You can run yourself ragged if you don’t. I have that habit of doing, of being productive, of doing/giving for others, trying not to being selfish. Sometimes I end up feeling neglected, resentful with mean thoughts. It’s no one’s fault except mine own. I recognize my flaw, my incorrect thinking. Now I try not to fall into that hole as much. Now I try not to share all of me and what I have. It is nice to keep some thoughts/things just for myself.

It was difficult not to give this bitter melon to my mother but I fought the urge. I told myself I had given her one already and there are 2 more little ones growing on the vine. And she has been complaining she got too much fresh vegetables. Everyone is giving her so much. So I kept this pretty one and cooked it just for myself. It was quite delicious, not that bitter at all. Pretty good for my first adventure growing and cooking a bitter melon. I hope I will get a few more than 2 though it is getting late in the season.

I know I inherited/learned this trait from my mother. She’s always giving/sharing all of her stuff. It’s hard to refuse. I’m trying to learn to be gracious about it. After all, they’re gifts and she is almost 90. It probably makes her feel good she can still give. Like mother and daughter, we find it hard to take. She is learning, too, to take as well as give.

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to SOME THINGS ARE JUST FOR ME – a meditation for one

  1. Marc Cohen says:

    Yes, every day seems to fly by. It can be difficult to make time for ourselves and our own needs, especially when we have someone else to care for. Yet, giving ourselves even just a few minutes can make a difference.

  2. Lily, I love that you are doing things I wish I were doing. Like growing bitter melon. Your Mom is blessed to have you. I love the beautiful stuffed bitter melon slices. About time– I do find that there are time tides, and that time moves at varying speeds, which gives us the illusion that it’s slipping away. Blessings to you!

  3. Alice Gerard says:

    Enjoy your bitter melon and your time with your mom.You and your mom are blessed to have each other. And definitely enjoy your moments with just you as your company. Oh, and it’s okay to be human with those resentful thoughts! You are not alone!!!

  4. Hi Lily, I hope you think of Blogging and painting and gardening as things you do for yourself.
    Blog on !

  5. Martha DeMeo says:

    I enjoy reading about your lovely garden! I’ve never heard of bitter melon but it looks delicious! Mom can have the next one!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.