How Sweet/Sweat It Is
This morning I was folding laundry and noticed the Calvin Klein label on the guy’s undershirt. It reminds me of Christmas shopping my sister and I did with my mother years ago. How sweet the memory of when things were more carefree and my mother was younger and stronger. In those days, I still believe in some of the Christmas story. I believed in the warmth, kindness, giving and generosity of the season, if not the birth in the manger. I still believe in those sentiments but I’ve lost the warmth that came with it all. Humbug! is what I feel.
I am not really happy with the way I am. I feel hard and brittle like peanut brittle instead of marshmallows. Illusions once lost are gone forever. They are not what I really want. The God up in the sky no longer works. So why should Christmas still be the same. I didn’t start out in life with the Christ story. It was adopted when we immigrated to Canada. I have never been quite comfortable with it. Now is a logical time to give up all my pretense and come out of the closet. There, I’ve done it! I’ve said it. And what I really want for Christmas is good physical and mental health. They can come as they are. No need for a ribbon or bow.
Gifts don’t come free. I’ve been working on both. I’m still frequenting the gym using good hygience and social distancing practices. Our classes are small. I trust the staff and other members. I figure the exercise and socializing in small groups beneficial to my mental health. It feels exhilarating to work up a sweat. It carries me through part of the day. I hope the Covid numbers will come down. Otherwise, the gyms might get closed down. In that event, I still have my daily walks. Having walked daily, rain, snow or shine for 14 years with Sheba, it stays with me. Sheba would be proud of me. She’s probably walking with me in spirit.
It is almost the end of another day. I’ve kept up with doing at least one difficult thing a day. It helps lift my mood and gives me more energy. It’s cloudy all day today. No sun at all. The highest temperature in the greenhouse was 0 Celsius. While I’m waiting for the sun and spring, I’ve been researching on how to grow ginger and tumeric. It’s pretty interesting and exciting. There’s numerous videos on YouTube on how to grow both using roots from grocery stores. I might pot some up as soon as I get some ginger and tumeric. Why wait for spring? I can do it now.