Day 108, November 10, 2016 @1007 pm
Another sunny morning. The sun rose again. I sit and observe, feeling all there is, not trying to understand or fix anything. Life is as it is. I am still in this spaciousness of now. I am grateful for this gift. I am grateful for this life.
The sun is filling me up with light and optimism. I am strong enough to enter the messiness of my life. I am able to feel all the ‘uglies’ I’ve been unwilling to face. I can sit and stay with the nausea, the revulsion rising up, the tremors, the chills and sweats of my body. They are sensations. Like everything else, they pass. I have chosen to do different. I accept the consequences. Doing the same had made me ill. Now I am healing myself.
I am opening one Pandora’s Box at a time. No scary Jack jumped out at me. I breathe a sigh of relief. What I found instead was the soft child in me. I rescued that child and held her once more in my heart space. I am my own mother.