It’s funny how those aha moments come – out of the blue like a falling star from heaven. I’ve been thus hit this morning. I am sitting here basking in its afterglow, feeling grateful, tap, tapping away on my keyboard. I feel as if I’ve come home after a long journey. Perhaps I have been absent, away from myself for a long while.
I’ve been away, trying to be what I am not. Trying to grasp what is not mine to have. Trying too hard to measure up to be an exalted angel – to be kind beyond kind, to be generous with a bottomless heart, to be that perfect product without a flaw. How could I succeed?
I couldn’t no matter how hard I try. I have tried and been disappointed and heartbroken to learn that I am just human after all. I am flawed. I take things personally. I have resentments. I am disappointed and disillusioned at times. I have meanness in me. I admit that I have all that in me. I see it. I am glad.
Why am I glad? I am glad because now I can move on. Disappointments and heartache are my good friends, teaching me what works and what doesn’t. They are ushering me from the valley of the shadow into the light.