Let me tell you what I am afraid of – everything and nothing. How can that be? How can I explain?
Going out with Sheba for our morning walk, I worried that I might be cold. I put on warmer clothes. On second thought, I worried about being overdressed. I pared down. How cold can it be when the tomatoes are still ripening on the vine? Heading out the door, I worried about sunglasses. The sun might come out after all.
Life has been thus for me lately. I feel much like the photo prompt – hung up by the horns, steeped in fear, going nowhere. I am grateful to Alana Wolf for providing this space for reflection on this. Perhaps, solutions will arise from putting fears into words.
The walk was uneventful. I was dressed just right. I was not cold nor hot. The sun did come out. I did fine without sunglasses. The leaves and grass were that much greener after yesterday’s rain and without any tinted filter. The flowers were brilliant in their colours. The sun was glorious and life giving.
I wonder about my fears of nothing and everything. What I am most afraid of is the taste of fear. Have you ever had the occasion – of falling through space, your heart dropping down the elevator shute, goose bumps on your skin, your mouth dry as sand……
Thinking on these, I’ve never had a hard landing. My heart is always where it is. Goose bumps go away. I can always put on a sweater and have a glass of water or cup of tea. Perhaps I dwell on and fight the fear of fear too much. I’m very much like a dog with a bone about everything – getting to the bottom of things and fix them. Once and for all!
I see that it might be helpful if I can relax a little. Let Sheba have the bone. She is the dog after all. There’s other pleasures for me – a cup of tea, a square or two of dark chocolate, a good book of fiction, a leisurely swim, a hug or two or three……