It’s a cool, grey morning in May. No dancing sunlight nor shadows on the wall. It’s not my kind of day nor weather. BUT I am learning to accept. It is what is here. It is what is. I cannot change it. What I can change is how I see and feel about it. I do not have to hate and dread it. It is just a grey cool day. There is no need to pass judgement on it. Let the day begin.
I’m having a little trouble finding the words these days. They do not come readily to my fingertips. I miss the rhythmic tap on the keyboard. I miss seeing the letters and words march across the screen. I miss the process of matching photos to the words and stories. So now I’m sitting and trying to resuscitate and breathe a little life into these fingers. No use in sitting and thinking. Nothing happens unless I move a body part. This much I know.
Funny how fast things can change and how easily you can lose your equilibrium. And oh, how difficult it is to get it back! The harder you try, the faster it slips away. I am not discouraged. I am just a little weary. How can I not be with a much spoiled dog trying to run me? Yes, Sheba is still trying to rule the roost, whimpering through the night. But we caught on to her tricks and how smart she can be. She’s teaching me about boundaries and containment. She is ousted from the bedroom at night. There are rules and boundaries. There are rewards for good behaviour.
On this 14th day in May, there is much to be grateful for. The sun is coming out to lift the grey and warm the day. Sheba is laying by my chair. I am breathing out my words and feeling whole. Everything is as it should be.