We live in the age and environment of fear and anxiety. We are bombarded with news of shootings, beheadings and terrorist acts. I hear the whining of sirens almost every day. But there comes a time when a person has to let go of her all fears and anxiety – just let that damn proverbial shoe drop. Let it do what it may. Will it shatter like Humpty Dumpty so that not all the king’s horses and all the king’s men could put it back together again? In that case, maybe we can just buy a new shoe.
I’m dropping that shoe – again. I’m letting go. Sheba has been absorbing my bad vibes and barking and whining at invisible shadows. Like mistress, like dog. I need to accept the dark as well as the light. There are no bogeymen. It’s only the tricks of our wandering minds.
I’m learning to drown my fears in the pool water, in those warm arms that hold me like my mother’s womb. I let it embrace me, caress me, loosening fear’s grip on me, washing it away. I feel no fear as I float, my face in the water. There is no hurry or worry. I will not sink. I will not drown. There is time to breathe. I’m blowing out what I don’t need. I’m breathing in precious air. It flows in my mouth and nose, fills my lungs and nourishes me throughout. I am moving up and down the length of the pool without effort and fear. It is enough if only for that time and space. Tomorrow I can do better.