I am finding the truth about truisms. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Knowing that, I have no resolutions for the new year. No point in adding another failure onto the New Year’s Resolutions list. Instead, I am working through Suzannah Conway’s Unravelling the Year Ahead. I am trying some of her magic.
The last couple of days, I had been on working on the question of what was my favourite moment, day or occasion of 2014. It took some time before I knew the answer. I felt knowing what nourishes me was important. Other times, if I couldn’t find the answer at a snap of my fingers or the time to hit the ENTER key, I would have given up. I wonder how many of you are like me.
My favourite occasion in 2014 is the time we spent in Arizona. What I love about the desert is the silence, the sky and the open spaces where cacti and sage grew and the desert flowers bloomed.
In the arid barrenness, the thorns and messiness of every day life fell away. There was room to breathe. There was space to grow and expand. There was time. In the desert, I let go of what was not me. We were in a foreign land where God was the only one I knew. I surrendered, dropping my mask and defences – if only to myself.
I was free to wander through the landscape of the unknown and untried. I did not know I could cycle up and down the hilly streets of Lake Havasu and live to tell about it. I shifted gears, huffed and puffed, pedalling up the steep hills. I heard the air whistled in my ears as I coasted down the other side, hanging on to the handlebars for dear life. I felt petrified and exhilarated.
I baked bread in the desert, listened to the birds in the morning and swam in the afternoon. The sunsets were glorious and picture book perfect. The moon and stars looked down on me in the evening as I sat by the fire. Peace and silence echoed all around me. In the desert I surrendered and bloomed. At last I felt a sense of me.