BAKING THE GREMLINS AWAY

For Reverb14Reverb BB

It’s December 18th, a week before Christmas.  It is a season of joy and sorrow.  Life has no time boundaries and neither has death.  You cannot have one without the other.  It happens when it happens.  I’m not behind and I’m not catching up.  I’m writing in this moment on these two prompts – 2 in 1.  What a bargain, heh?

Today’s prompt from Sophie Appleby aka Her Library Adventures.  Sophie writes:

In the busyness of the everyday, taking time to nourish the soul doesn’t reach the top of the ‘to do’ list as often as it should.  What nourishes your soul? How would you like to incorporate more of this into your life in 2015? 

Day 15 prompt from Kat McNally:

I’ve learnt over the years that the only way to get anywhere in life is just to notice what other people are doing, hear the gremlins, feel the fear and do it anyway. It never gets any easier but to keep on doing it is the point.  What are you really proud that you made happen in 2014, despite the gremlins? And what will you do anyway in 2015

*********

The gremlins are having their go at me the last few days.  I feel them buzzing and biting at me with their little mouths.  I am ignoring them.  I’m not wasting energy swatting them off.  I am letting them be.  Long ago I have learned to let the shoe drop.  I am not Humpty Dumpty.  I will not fall and break.

It has been a week of dishwater coloured days. The mornings are black as night.  I am full of lethargy.  It is hard to get out of bed.  But I do it anyways.  I get up, dress up and show up, albeit slower and later.  That’s what I do to respect and nurture my body and spirit.  I listen to them instead of fighting and conquering.

IMG_0515I take special care at these vulnerable times.  I do not have to be Wonder Woman and do it all.  Let her rest awhile.  No one needs rescuing at the moment.  I don’t have to be the hero.  I don’t need to have it all.  I don’t even want it.  I am happy in the smallness of my life.  I am happy here, tap, tapping out my words to you, sipping my tea.  Sheba is nearby. Voices and laughter come from children playing outside.

Perhaps this is not a good time to be reading Jodi Picoult’s The Storyteller.  The story contains the horrors of the Holocaust but also about our humanity.  It’s appropriate for our present time and the horrors we are still seeing.  We can run but we can’t hide from the truth.  I need to bear witness and to acknowledge all that is happening.  It is paying honour to those who have died.  They matter.

imageI’m reading on into the book, into Sage’s story and how baking becomes her therapy.  It is also mine.  You might call me a born again baker for I didn’t know how to until a couple of years ago.  Now I’m happy when there’s flour flying in the kitchen.   How can you not rejoice when you see it rise?  It is so comforting to knead and punch down the dough. Take this! And this! My fist sinks into the soft mound.  Then I’m forming it into separate loaves, to rise again and be ready for the oven.

The house is filled with the aroma of bread baking. It is a smell of home, welcome and nourishment.  Come in and sit down.  Won’t you have a cup of tea and a slice of fresh baked bread?

This is what I do to chase the gremlins and other demons and gobblins away.  It also nourishes my soul.  It works so I will continue on into the new year.

Advertisements

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to BAKING THE GREMLINS AWAY

  1. Love this post – it is clear you have figured out how to nourish yourself well and as a fledgling baker, I now look forward to learning to bake bread so I’ll have something to ‘punch’ at every once in a while! 😉

  2. I like how you’re navigating this tender time with gentleness towards yourself Lily. And how wonderful you’ve found baking to be such a nourishing activity. I totally agree with you that there’s nothing like rising bread to lift the spirits and then the smell of baking bread adds to it. But the best is in the eating.

  3. Nothing beats the smell of freshly baked bread!

  4. It is true therapy to bake fresh bread! And it smells heavenly (and tastes heavenly).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s