THE BEST I CAN DO

Routines can be so tedious at times.  Ugh!  That is what I am feeling at this moment.  I am here, nevertheless, with my morning Chai.  I am feeling more myself.  It’s good to be able to sleep again laying down – two nights in a row now.

I had been sleeping in my recliner, being breathless and panicky laying down.  I was feeling attached to my Lazy Boy.  I was afraid of letting it go, but I survived.  How quickly habits and attachments set in.  It reminded me of a patient I had.  Her hospital stay was longer than expected.  She had one complication after another.  She finally went home after a lengthy stay.

She dropped by with a box of chocolates and thank you card after being home for a week. She was teary talking about being home.  She was anxious and missed the side rails on her bed and having curtains around.  She worried about being crazy.  I reassured her that she was not.  She had been so sick and having people around her, checking on her 24 hours/day for weeks.  It was a natural thing to feel a bit insecure, even if her husband and children were in the house.  She breathed a big sigh of relieve.  It mattered to her that I understood how she felt.  She left with a smile amid her tears.  I was happy to be able to do that.

Yesterday was a wordless day. It was a time to catch up with family.  It was time for lunch with my mother and sister.  I hadn’t seen them for awhile.  It was time to get reconnected. It was a time for my sister and I to give our mother some time, to listen to her stories and reminiscences.

And today is a picture-less day.  It’s not a day of creativity so I worked – at paying my bills and other necessities of life.  When you can’t create, you can work.  I can work at putting things in order.  I am tired.  I am worn out.  I am feeling life.  This is the best I can do today.  Tomorrow is another day.

 

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About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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