Our household is up early this morning having gone to bed at 8:30 last night.  That is what you do when you are sick, hoping to get better.  It’s no wonder we’re wide awake before 5 am.  You can only sleep so much, whatever state of health you are in, unless….

I’m sitting here with my hot Chai.  I have on a sweater and a vest.  A scarf is wrapped around my neck to keep out drafts.  Still – I feel the shivers go through me now and again. My head still echoes but somehow feels lighter.  My voice is hoarse in a different timbre.  I am getting better.  No visit to the doctor necessary.

I admit that I was down in the dumps a bit yesterday.  Not feeling super duper can colour everything.  Remember that!  I was sick of everything – in my immediate world and beyond.  I felt nauseated by the news, by people and relationships.  To sum it neatly, I was nauseated by life.

I suppose you could say I have a bad attitude.  I call it surrendering.  It is good to give up sometimes.  I hate those songs and cliches that say: smile the while you’re crying, smile even though your heart is breaking, blah, blah, blah.  Enough of that horse shit!  See, I tell you I’m giving up – fighting.  I’m going with the Tao, the Way of my ancestors.

IMG_0209I’m been on the highway of resistance through most of my life.  Let me change and try another way for awhile.  I am weary of hurtling over obstacles.  My being is drained by dark shadows.  I put my trust in the spirits of my ancestors to lead me out to the light.

I feel their presence around me as I sit here tap, tapping my way out of the shadows and into the light.  I have no need after all, of magic wands nor Wonder Woman’s golden tiara or bracelets.  I have the magic of my words to wield the changes I desire.

About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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  1. Right now your body (your immune system) is doing the fighting for you. So even if you think you aren’t fighting, you are (on some level). I have absolutely no idea what that means, though.

  2. Surrendering = freedom and peace. I am glad you are feeling better…. being sick is no fun!!!!! Here is to a speedy recovery.

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