I’m here exhausted and full of breakfast. Can I write my 500 words in this state? Can I push forward with no ifs and buts? Of course I can. I’ve caught up on my sleep and Mr. Sun is smiling down on me with a promise of 28 degrees Celsius.
Wait! I need a refill on my tea. Ah, so much better now. I can feel the frown unfurling between my eyebrows, my face and eyes relaxing, the tension in my body easing. I feel the warmth of the sun on my right cheek. I see my purple petunias bobbing in the morning breeze. They’re still strutting their stuff, not ready to give up yet.
“We’ve still have alot of living to do”, they seem to be singing. “Don’t do us in yet!”
Yesterday was a busy, busy day. I prepared 4 trays of Roma tomatoes for the dehydrater, made 5 jars of tomato sauce, baked 6 loaves of bread and made a batch of sunberry muffins. It seemed so easy when you start out. I had it all planned. I would do the Roma tomatoes first. Then I would start the bread. During the first rising phase, I would start the tomato sauce. During the 2nd rising phase I would walk Sheba. And while the bread was baking, I would whip up the muffins and pop them into the oven after the bread comes out.
No matter how often you’ve done all these things, they are always harder and take longer than you think. Our memory plays tricks on us. It is not a bad thing. Time allows us to forget about the difficulties and let us start again – refreshed and full of enthusiasm. Maybe even by next week I will do it all over again. My pain today is my tomorrow’s gain.
Not that yesterday was difficult or painful. But I was busy and moving till evening. By supper time I was tired and irritable, ready to bite someone’s head off if he got in my way. I was liable and did say, DON’T play any more music. There are times when music soothes and time when it drives me mad. It was the latter. I was ready to jump out of my skin.
I’m in a bad mood, I said. I speak my mind so people would know where I’m coming from. Sometimes it doesn’t work well but this time it was copasetic. Life is like that. There’s the good, bad and the ugly. That’s how you can tell when everything is copasetic and the sweetness of it is worth the pain and ugliness. What goes up must come down. No pain, no gain.
I’m pushing hard on gaining, not only with my words but staying in the present. I want to make my own choices in life and not let life choose for me. I don’t want procrastination to own me. It’s easier said than done – way toughter than I thought. That’s what I’m learning while I’m searching for my 500 – 1500 words a day. It’s only been a week or so. I have a long journey ahead of me. I better pace myself for the long haul and not fall within a week or two. I’m crossing my fingers and toes. I think I better cross my slippers, too.