What if I told you that I see/feel ghosts? What would you say? What would you think…that I am crazy, or would you keep an open mind?
I would be happy if I didn’t have this ability. I am contradicting myself in wishing that I’m not weird but there you have it. I am also a contradiction! Would I have been ‘normal’, I would feel no need to sit here, tap, tapping away my discomfort, my ghosts.
I do not really see my ghosts. I cannot describe them. Rather I sense them. My first experience was when I was a child, many years ago in China. I ‘saw’ them when I was playing on our rooftop. My mother told me that they were our ancestors and not to be afraid of them. The second time came shortly after that. I ‘saw’ someone standing in front of my bed. I felt, ‘saw’ the shadow. I cannot remember other incidences from my childhood.
I became afraid of my ghosts when I was a young adult. I would cross my slippers by my bed to ward off their visits. I came to no harm, but it was frightening for me to wake up with something sitting on me, holding me inert and helpless. I could not move. I could not scream until ‘it’ left.
To reassure myself of my sanity, I decided that the next time the ghost visits, I would test myself. How did I do this? I opened my eyes, blinked and say to myself: I’m awake. I’m awake. The pressure was great. I could not move but I reached and reached to turn the lamp on. I knew the light would dispel it. I stretched and stretched. The lamp toppled, the shade falling off. My cat jumped off the bed. The pressure lifted. But when I ‘came to’, all was calm. The lamp was still upright, where it had been but the cat was gone.
I kept my slippers crossed by my bed for quite a few years. Those incidents have stopped but I have had encounters of a different kind. Am I crazy? Do you believe me? What do you think?