SHIFTING

I am shifting through a kaleidoscope of moods and feelings, wishing that I could say that they are all good, all awesome.  Unfortunately that is not the case.  But the one good thing that I can say is I am enjoying the sunshine and the warmth of my sun room.

It is no doubt that this shifting is caused partly by my shift work.  It is not natural to reverse our sleeping patterns.  It is not natural to submerged oneself in such a work atmosphere without consequences.  I am taking note and acknowledging these things so that I do not beat myself up too badly.

I am also what you would call ‘sensitive’.  I do not handle changes in the weather well.  Does that sound like an excuse?  Maybe, but it is my truth.  It causes me physical discomfort, so I have to give it credence and acceptance.

It is good that I am able to give all these things credence and acceptance.  These are mine truths and realities, difficult for those who do not share them to understand.  You have to walk in the same shoes to have a knowing.  And I am lucky this morning to find three brave women blogging about similar issues.  Thank you girls!

Today is election day in the United States of America.  I am hoping that people are exercising their right to choose..even though there are only two choices.  It also reminds me that in life we can also elect to choose – on how it is we respond in all circumstances.

Though I am not feeling my best at any moment, I am learning to live in the moment.  I am learning how to do my best at that moment.  I am learning to pause in the moment, and not do the knee-jerk thing.  Often I do fail.  The knee is faster in the jerking than the pausing.

My positive pause today was the mailman.  We had a nice visit at the door.  I learned that Alice doesn’t live here anymore and he’s married to my mother’s friend’s daughter.  His visit gave me a pause, a desired rest from my negative stream of thoughts and bad feelings.

Then I saw my neighbour’s visitor backed his truck over my low growing Junipers, not once but twice.  It would have been more forgivable if he was a woman, but a man who can’t back up a truck onto a wide driveway?  But in the end, I did forgive him.  Maybe he was angry with my neighbour!

I can understand that.  You see in all things,  forgiveness can be possible.  Sometimes we have to give ourselves a little more time, a little more space and some passion for ourselves.  Sometimes it is not all our faults.

In my house of moods, I have learned to use them to my own advantage.  Instead of feeling the anger, I use that energy to clean, tidy, dust, etc.  I put on my dancing shoes and set the timer for 5 minute intervals.  I sway and bob to the tune of ‘Stayin’ Alive as I do my stuff.  The timer going off at 5 minutes keeps me moving fast and on the job.

 

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About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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