Even though people have told me that I am funny, I don’t consider myself a fun time girl. I am very solemn inside my head since I was born.
This might serve as a caution to parents and other adults. Children absorb everything they hear and who knows how much of it goes into their development as adults. I believe that a large part of our memories are false, but I mostly remember that I was not an easy child. I believe myself to be ill-tempered, stubborn, not friendly, non-communicative, shy. I do not believe nor feel that I was ever fun-loving, carefree, out-going, loveable.
I still feel like that some days, a lot of days sometimes, especially on grey days. Now I know that we can have false feelings and I try not to stay in those feelings. How? Well, since so many people tell me I am funny, I am going to believe I know how to have fun. I am dedicating a part of each day to having fun.
Fun is finding photos to go with my words. So….creativity is fun. Baking bread is fun. I love kneading the dough. It gives me such a sense of accomplishment that I’ve finally learned the art this year. Sometimes I give the dough an extra spank just for the satisfaction of it.
One thing for sure is that I am not a party girl. That is probably more false memories from past parties. Well that gives me pause for thought and something to work on. And I’m starting tonight. I am going to a party, a small one with close friends…the best kind.