Even though people have told me that I am funny, I don’t consider myself a fun time girl.  I am very solemn inside my head since I was born.

This might serve as a caution to parents and other adults.  Children absorb everything they hear and who knows how much of it goes into their development as adults.  I believe that a large part of our memories are false, but I mostly remember that I was not an easy child.  I believe myself to be ill-tempered, stubborn, not friendly, non-communicative, shy.  I do not believe nor feel that I was ever fun-loving, carefree, out-going, loveable.

I still feel like that some days, a lot of days sometimes, especially on grey days.  Now I know that we can have false feelings and I try not to stay in those feelings.  How?  Well, since so many people tell me I am funny, I am going to believe I know how to have fun. I am dedicating a part of each day to having fun.

Fun is finding photos to go with my words.  So….creativity is fun.  Baking bread is fun.  I love kneading the dough.  It gives me such a sense of accomplishment that I’ve finally learned the art this year.  Sometimes I give the dough an extra spank just for the satisfaction of it.

One thing for sure is that I am not a party girl.  That is probably more false memories from past parties.  Well that gives me pause for thought and something to work on.  And I’m starting tonight.  I am going to a party, a small one with close friends…the best kind.


About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.
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